It is not safe to assume that we have a retiring nature even if we show all signs of being an introvert. Today I don’t think for a moment I have a retiring nature...nor ever did. Yet there were years in which I was constrained to the point of introversion. These were difficult, uncomfortable years in which I was a tied statue, or as I wrote in another poem during those years:
Oedipus Saved
He would be a tall performer,
Paying gladly the awful cost,
An actor for the tragic moment,
The very Titan of his age:
But his role was chosen for him,
By the decision of a horde,
So in this one-time drama,
He cried a monkey's part,
Limping, swaying, laughing, raging--
Mere diversion in a cage.
Faces gazed without pity or terror,
Till intelligence dawned a grin,
Upon old Oedipus fettered
In a shepherd’s pen.
I quickly add that the “horde” mentioned above were internal demons, not externalities. They tied and fettered me. You may be thinking you have seen similar circumstances in someone you know and are eager to find out how those demons can be banished. I don’t know for sure how spiritual freedom is achieved. I know it is complex and depends upon experience and insight. Let me list a personal few: I followed the leadings of the spirit; I found intimate volunteer work a generator of outgoing generosity; I became a friend of children; I became certain of the reality and the direct immediacy of God; I enjoyed successful years at school, work, and marriage; I came to see myself as having capacity for contribution. For me it has proven to be a long, winding road.
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