This is a question that often involves context. For a given environment some of the following questions might be asked:
- Is the person as knowledgeable and skilled as he wants us to believe--broadly speaking, is he who he purports to be?
- When rightly seen and understood, does his past actions indicate that he is trustworthy--is he ethically grounded?
- Does he embody volatility or steadiness; is he reliable and courageous or craven and irresponsible?
- Does he undertake to relate the substance of the matter at hand.
- Does he considered himself a god and everyone else his obedient subjects; or, conversely, is his self-concept so weak and fragile as to make him indecisive and totally reliant upon the favorable opinion of others?
- Does he telegraph love, respect, and goodwill; or to the contrary does he engage in mendacity, meanness, and exploitation?
- Does he adhere to conventionality and conformity at the expense of independence and creativity?
- Does he expect as much or more from himself than he does from others?
- Does he seek abundant life or pursue its reverse--fulfillment through addictions?
I will stop here, but it is clear that "winning over" others depends upon relating with unadorned authenticity a sense of safety that springs principally from plainly wrought humility.
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