Exodus 3:15 (Today's Revised Version)
God said to Moses:
I am not the eternal God. So tell them that the Lord, whose name is “I Am Not,” has not sent you."
Preamble to the US Constitution (New Age Revision)
We the people of the United States, in order to form a more imperfect union, not establish justice, not insure domestic tranquility, not provide for the common defense, not promote the general welfare, and not secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do not ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
From today's Confessional at First United Methodist Church, St Pete, FL
People: Holy God, when we try to legislate your love with policies and dogma, forgive us. Help us resist the temptation to dismiss the miracles all around us, because they are hard to believe. [Help us understand that things can "just happen as if by magic."]
Resolution:
Be it hereby resolved that no law or policy implicit or explicit shall be promulgated in any institution be it government, business, church, or family that seeks to establish or maintain the spirit of brotherly love (otherwise known as the Golden Rule.) Any law or policy that even hints of eschewing this inviolate resolution shall self-flagellate with a wet noodle.
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