When I have been untruthful – say about someone's new hairdo – I fancy telling myself that I'm out of love sparing the feelings of others. So when asked "How do you like my hair?," I will say "It looks lovely," rather than the more truthful, "Your hair looks like it was caught in a runaway clothes dryer."
Now I say "fancy telling myself" because, nine chances out of ten, I am not so much trying to save the feelings of others; but selfishly trying to be universally and unconditionally well-liked myself. Thus I basically tell a lie out of weakness. Additionally, the white lie is really a form of laziness. I could craft an honest, helpful,and kind answer; but that would require effort and hard work. So I take the easy route and just tell a white lie.
Finally I tell white lies because of the Golden rule – do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Sometimes quite frankly I don't want the truth so much as I want encouragement. I'm only too well aware of the stark nature of my shortcomings. What I'm looking for is validation of elemental worthiness. So if you were to say "Wayne, I really like your blog today," I am only too happy to accept it as a more general affirmation not so much of my blog, but of me – kind of a cheerful, creative, and encouraging way of your pleasantly saying "Good morning."
Print Page
