In
what ways is sin like paralysis? What freedoms has Jesus' word of
forgiveness given to you? Where do you need to hear that word again?
(Serendipity Bible 10th anniversary edition, page 1394).
Paralysis
defined:
1
: complete or partial loss of function especially when involving the
motion or sensation in a part of the body
2
: loss of the ability to move
3
: a state of powerlessness or incapacity to act
(Merriam-Webster)
In
my young adult years, principally while I was an undergraduate, I
suffered from paralysis in the sense that I was afflicted by a state
of powerlessness or incapacity to act. I wrote a poem during those
years called "Tied Statue". This was very much the way that
I looked upon myself emotively—every joint in my body and every
thought seemed to be constrained and required great effort even to
move . Freedom of spirit was largely unknown to me. But over a period
of time this internal repression gave way to a conviction that I must
act and do so with integrity of purpose no matter the consequences.
Calculation which had been predominant in my every action gave way to
spontaneity and freedom. I must say that this was a process. I cannot
think of a single moment of revelation in this matter. Partially it
was a processing aided and abetted by the circumstances of the times.
First, there was the Vietnam War which required a stand contrary to
law. This landed me in prison where it was essential to have a firm
grasp of who I was and what I stood for. Later, in graduate school I
was confronted with the realization that intellectual conviction and
integrity required assertion even in the face of academic
opposition
and
disapproval.
In my first forays into the world it became clear to me that mission
was incompatible with standard views
of success
and sacrifices inevitably had to be made. Working with youth without
any organizational imprimatur
to validate my motives, I had to weather suspicion by many of
pedophilia. Gradually with time I have come to realize that
individual integrity was incompatible with paralysis. I found broad
support in many accounts of the Old and New Testaments. Thus religion
and experience dovetailed into an approach of assertiveness. At this
stage in my life (soon to be 70), I am grateful that at some point I
am emerged from being a tied statue into becoming
a man with a purpose that would not be denied.
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