This evening my wife Kathy remains in the intensive care unit of Saint Anthony's hospital. This is the 13th day that she has been in an induced coma and administered air through an oscillating respirator. She also requires daily dialysis and regular procedures to clear her lungs.
The following Covenant Service joined Kathy and me in September 2008. The service was performed by my brother Bob and his wife Linda--both Methodist ministers. It was held on North Beach at Fort De Soto with friends and relatives in attendance. The text of the service was the joint creation of Bob and Linda with some reliance upon the traditional Methodist wedding service.
COVENANT SERVICE
FOR
WAYNE STANDIFER and
KATHY FRANZ
September 9, 2008
Few things in human life are more
difficult to face than solitude. Alone
we come into this world; alone we shall depart.
Yet, while we live, we may hope to find another with whom to share our
life, our hopes and fears, our joys and sorrows, our beliefs and dreams. We hope to find someone with whom we may
“live happily ever after.”
This day, from different homes
and backgrounds, from lives lived separately, Wayne and Kathy come together
desiring to be made one. It is our hope
that their life together will be long and rich.
May the love and trust that have
brought them together this day remain through all the days and years
ahead. And may all their shared
experiences cause them to grow more and more completely at one with each other
in love and understanding.
We intend, through this service
today, to recognize the covenant which, in one form or another, has taken place
countless times before, in all the places of the earth, through the long
history of human relationships. Even in a world grown deficient in
understanding, a world of uncertainty and change, a covenant remains a bridge
across the barriers that separate races and nations. It transcends boundaries and customs, and
speaks to the hearts of all people everywhere.
God established a relationship
with all humanity saying, “ I will be your God and you will be my people.” This covenant cannot be broken. God’s love is forever. This is the type of
relationship we celebrate today; a covenant relationship between a man and
woman, vowing to love each other, no matter what, forever.
A covenant may be honored by
others. But, a covenant can only be made
truly honorable through the love and faith of the man and woman who undertake
it. Without that love and faith, what we
do here today is an empty show.
Therefore, a covenant relationship must not be entered lightly. It requires serious minds, loving hearts and
generous lives.
Wayne and Kathy, I ask you, is it
in this spirit that you have come today to be joined in covenant?
With God’s help, it is.
SPECIAL READING
“TIME IN A BOTTLE”
If I could save Time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'til Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with
DECLARATION OF INTENTION
Wayne, will you receive Kathy into this
covenant? Will you live and work with
her in building a Christian life? Will
you share with her your joys and sorrows, your needs and dreams? Will you offer her the freedom and support
she needs to fulfill her own life?
Kathy, will you receive Wayne into this
covenant? Will you live and work with
him in building a Christian life? Will
you share with him your joys and sorrows, your needs and dreams? Will you offer him the freedom and support he
needs to fulfill his own life?
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13: 1-8
If I speak in the tongues of
mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging
cymbal. And, if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as
to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my
possessions, and if I hand over my body
so that I may boast, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind;
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not
irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the
truth. It bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Kathy and Wayne, these rings
serve as the symbol of your covenant relationship. They are the outward and visible sign of an
inward and invisible love, which binds your hearts together. As they are of the finest of earth’s
materials, so your love is of the richest of spiritual values. As rings are without edge or seam, having no
beginning and no end, they symbolize the perfection of a love that cannot end.
Let us pray. Bless these rings, O God, to be the visible
sign of the covenant made here today, that the giving, receiving and wearing of
the rings may ever be a reminder of the promises made here today, and that they
also remind Wayne and Kathy of your love for them as they grow more in love
with each other and with you. AMEN
GIVING AND RECEIVING OF RINGS
I Wayne, join with you Kathy in
living a covenant relationship according to God’s purposes. I promise to love and trust you; to speak the
truth to you and to listen to you; to sustain and nurture you; and with you to
receive each day as a gift from God. As
a symbol of our precious and eternal love, I give you this ring.
I Kathy, join with you Wayne in
living a covenant relationship according to God’s purposes. I promise to love and trust you; to speak the
truth to you and to listen to you; to sustain and nurture you; and with you to
receive each day as a gift from God. As
a symbol of our precious and eternal love, I give you this ring.
Wayne and Kathy, you are now
joined together in a covenant. Become
one in love. Fulfill the promises you
have made. Love and serve God and one
another. Because God has joined you
together, no one can separate you.
SAND CEREMONY
"Wayne and Kathy, today you join your separate lives
together. The two separate bottles of sand symbolize your separate lives,
separate families and separate sets of friends. They represent all that you are
and all that you'll ever be as an individual. They also represent your lives
before today. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container,
the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined
together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured
again into the individual containers, so will your covenant be."
(We will use sand from the beach and fill a clear glass
heart.)
SPECIAL READING
I love you not only for what you
are, but what I am when I am with you. I
love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are
making of me. I love you for the part of
me that you bring out.
I love you for putting your hand
into my heaped-up heart, and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and
weak things which you cannot help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into
the light all the beautiful, radiant belongings, that no one else had looked
quite far enough to find.
I love you for ignoring the
possibilities of the fool and weakling in me, and for laying firm hold on the
possibilities of good in me. I love you
for closing your eyes to the discords in me, and for adding to the music in my
worshipful listening.
I love you because you are
helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern but a temple, and of
the words of my every day not a reproach but a song.
I love you because you have done
more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate
could have done to make me happy. You
have done it just by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.
Let us pray. O God, who gives life to all people and
meaning to every moment; we pray that Wayne and Kathy may remain faithful to
the covenant they have made. May their
relationship always be one of peace and love in which all may share. May your grace and love be their constant
companion as they fulfill their life together.
In their relationship, give them the understanding, patience and skills
to fulfill your purpose in their lives.
We ask your continued presence with them that they may perfect the art
of lasting love, through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who taught us to pray:
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth
as it is in heaven. Give us this day our
daily bread. And forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver
us from evil. For thine is the kingdom
and the power and glory forever. AMEN
Now, go into the world and
fulfill your lives. Hold fast to your
ideals. Give one another new experiences
in joy. Challenge one another that you
may grow together. May your love now
sealed with covenant mature and enrich your experiences. May you live happy lives. And may the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon
you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon
you and give you peace. AMEN
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