My parents never suggested a line of work for
me. They made it clear that “what” I did
as an adult was much less important than “how” and “why” I did it. On these latter aspects, they were very
clear. I was to be “sweet” in
spirit. “Sweet” from their point of view
did not mean weak, ineffectual, or effeminate.
A sweet spirit to them meant a spirit that was lacking in chronic anger,
resentment, or self-centeredness. That
is, my vocation first and foremost was dependent upon the quality of my
relationships with others. The rank,
station, or preeminence (or lack thereof) I would one day achieve was
unimportant to them. The content of my
character and my loving, sympathetic relationship with others were always the
paramount considerations. Now that I have
children of my own, I cannot think of a greater legacy. Social prominence or the lack thereof pales
in importance to their being kind and considerate in their relationships. I suppose the ultimate test would be “What if
they ran into a ‘Hitler’? How then would
I want them to be kind and considerate?
While being intolerant of the evil-doers actions, I would want them to
respond with sadness and wonder at the forces resulting in such stark
grotesqueness. Even then I would want
them to approach the flagrant manifestation of evil without a trace of self-righteousness
and with prayers for even the most arrogant and cruel to find redemption.
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