Typically I deny it and fight (with more or less
success) to prove them wrong. Once I had
a Shakespeare professor give me a “C” on a major paper—one that would determine
my grade in the course. I emphatically
told him, “I will not make a “C” in this course.” He suggested that I rewrite the paper to more
effectively prove my point. I rewrote
the paper—not satisfactorily proving my point to his liking, but I did earn a “B”
in the course.
When I chose a place to live in Saint Petersburg
in 1976, through the leading of the spirit I chose a challenged area on the Southside. I was confronted by realities I found
unacceptable. I worked to correct them
in the ways I felt inspired and led to do and found the experience rewarding beyond
expectations.
Coming out of a mental hospital I was determined
to get a job (for which I was desperate) and to live a normal life. I was not to be defeated and not to acquiesce
to dependency. Through effort and divine
intervention, I secured an entry level job.
Employed by the City of Saint Petersburg, I held a
low paying job that was very limited in advancement potential. I enriched the job and informally redefined
it. Eventually I was promoted
accordingly.
Not being a brilliant student with offers of scholarships,
I nevertheless earned three master’s degrees.
All these experiences bring home to me the
essential violence, for lack of a better word, that is involved in saying “No!”
to certain realities and fighting to change them. As is often the case I think of the phrase of
William Butler Yeats:
You that
Mitchel's prayer have heard,
'Send war in
our time, O Lord!'
Know that
when all words are said
And a man is
fighting mad,
Something
drops from eyes long blind,
He completes
his partial mind,
For an
instant stands at ease,
Laughs
aloud, his heart at peace.
Even the
wisest man grows tense
With some
sort of violence
Before he
can accomplish fate,
Know his
work or choose his mate.
