As Valentine’s Day approaches, I ask myself why I
first saw Kathy as “right” for me. It is
said a girl’s loving relationship with her father is important when she herself
seeks a mate. If it is a strong, healthy
relationship; this bodes well for the future. I feel strongly that my relationship with my
mother greatly influenced my choice of a mate.
For me to be “mothered” never meant being subservient to someone who was
domineering or primarily self-serving. To
be mothered, instead, came to mean a loving relationship in which mutual respect
and consideration reliably obtained.
Today Kathy and I were at an ice show at Busch Gardens. While waiting for the show to begin, a very
talkative lady in the seat behind me displayed the qualities that would drive
me nuts if I had to live with them on a daily basis. She set forth discussing a hundred topics and
in her mind she was the undisputed expert in all matters. Her judgments and conclusions were unwaveringly
right and conclusive. Her self-confidence
was entire and impenetrable by any self-doubt. The longer I live, the more I have come to
appreciate the value and usefulness of a little self-doubt. Far from being the mark of inferiority as I
once thought, a measure of tentativeness is a winsome quality suggesting a
realistic humility when faced with the many uncertainties and unknowns of
life. To carry on as if these do not
exist is in my mind not a strength but a flaw that usually hurts others more
than oneself. It was Kathy’s
tentativeness even while solidly grounded in Christian values that attracted me
to Kathy at the outset and continues to do so today. Her self-confidence is not blind but reality
based. I would never presume to have her
“pegged” but nevertheless celebrate her winsome humility.
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